Therapist: Okay let’s start with some word association.
You: Sounds Good.
Therapist: BlueYou: TARDISTherapist: VehicleYou: ’67 Chevrolet ImpalaTherapist: PurpleYou: Shirt of SexTherapist: HelloYou: SweetieTherapist: HedgehogYou: Martin FreemanTherapist: FoodYou: PieTherapist: TieYou: Bowties, Bowties are cool.
Therapist: I’m sorry I can’t help you
I’m trying to prove a point to a douche in my class who thinks girls are lying about enjoying marvel.
are you fucking kidding me along with there being tons and tons of hot men its pretty fucking cool too come on
I LEARNED HOW TO READ OUT OF A MARVEL COMIC BOOK BEFORE I WENT TO PRESCHOOL, COME ON, IS THIS A JOKE!?
**not always true, but I found this funny. Not mine, I admit, it’s from someone else….I just don’t know who….**
1. If you constantly talk to yourself.
2. If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself
3. If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person
4. If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!
5. If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
6. If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
7. If you know what writer’s block is.
8. If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random, or full of critisism.
9. If, when replying to someone elses e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
10. If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.
11. If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
12. If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
13. If you memorized your keyboard.
14. If people think you might have A.D.D.
15. If you think itd be cool to have A.D.D.
16. If you have a grudge against Mary-sue’s…even though you wrote a story with one in the past.
17. If you know what a Mary-sue is.
18. If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no apparent reason.
19. If your friends dont even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.
20. If you go crazy over simple spelling/ grammar errors.
21. If you don’t like critisism, although you are a critic yourself.
22. If you tend to dream about your stories at night.
23. If you write stories based on your dreams.
24. If you can recite the alphabet backwards.
25. If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
26. If you can type/ write fast. REALLY fast.
27. If you write 1000-word rough drafts for your story, then erase it and write something totally different for the final.
28. If you know basic writer terms (ex: beta-, canon, lemon…etc.)
29. If you know what ‘etc’ really means, and know the elongated written version of it…
30. And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you failed English 101.
Look how badass he is while holding that baby
But what if he used it on the guy who came to the door for his daughter?
TELL ME, MIDGARDIAN. WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS TOWARDS MY DAUGHTER?
I AM OBLIGED TO INFORM YOU NOW THAT ANY DISRESPECT TOWARDS HER SHALL SURELY END POORLY FOR YOU.
WHOSOEVER DATETH MY DAUGHTER
IF HE BE WORTHY
THE BLESSING OF THOR
and watch when the time comes, he’ll just be like “Hey, mate, treat her good okay? Bring her back before eleven please. Drive safely.”
I THINK WE HAVE TO WORRY MORE ABOUT HER GODFATHER, TOM LOKI HIDDLESTON TBH.
What the hell.
This is the greatest post in the universe.
jesus christ it’s updated
Rebloggin for the comments.
JFC Tumblr, I can’t take you anywhere.
I love you
ALL of you
this shit just keeps getting better!!!
Dear lord this girl is going to have the hardest time getting a boyfriend. The poor thing is going to come home, stomp up to her room, try to slam the door, but it’ll be impossible because Chris Hemsworth will effortlessly stop the door with his huge Norse God arm.
And she’ll be like “DAD! YOU SCARED HIM AWAY!”
“I DID NO SUCH THING, MY DEAREST DAUGHTER. I ONLY SPOKE TO HIM THE TRUEST TRUTH OF THE NINE REALMS.”
“Oh my god, dad…”
“HE HAD AN ILL LOOK ABOUT HIM, I LIKED IT NOT. YOU ARE DESERVING OF THE HIGHEST OF QUALITY IN MEN, NOT THE LIKES OF HIM. YOU HAVE A DUTY AS PRINCESS OF ASGARD TO MARRY WELL AND SERVE THE KINGDOM, AND I ALSO WISH THAT YOU MAY HAVE A HUSBAND WHO WILL TREAT YOU AS THE QUEEN YOU ARE.”
“Dad… I’m not a queen! Stop it!”
And then Tom Loki Hiddleston, her godfather, walks in and she’s like: “And YOU! YOU SCARED HIM, TOO!”
“Oh, I did? My mistake. I overestimated the bravery of the young man, I fear.”
“WELL DONE, BROTHER.”
“Dad! Uncle Tom! SHUT UP! YOU’RE NOT EVEN REAL BROTHERS!”
“I fear your daughter is saying hurtful things in her anger, she means them not, I think. Worry not, Thor, I had trouble with my children more than once…”
“UNCLE TOM YOU DON’T HAVE ANY KIDS!”
“BROTHER PERHAPS WE SHOULD LEAVE HER TO HER ANGER.”
“No, wait! You guys have to stop doing this, I’m never going to get a boyfriend if you keep doing this!”
“Oh, alright. We shall never again berate or intimidate the young men whom you present to us. I promise.”
“UNCLE TOM STOP TALKING LIKE THAT.”
“Darling girl, my name is Loki, God of Mischief, Silvertongue, Lord of Lies. I know not of this Tom you speak of.”
“YES, MY DEAR. YOUR YOUNG MEN SHALL BE SAFE FROM ANY SO-CALLED WRONGDOING OF OURS.”
“WHAT IS IT, DAUGHTER?”
“Never mind. Thanks, good night.”
#And then the next day Tom and Chris are in full costume#helmets and all#with their scepters and their capes#And she brings in this young guy#and they open the door#And there’s her father and her godfather#Tom smiling his ovary-bursting smile#you know the evil one that’s also strangely sexy#And Chris has his hammer at the ready#and they greet him#calling him a suitor for the hand of the princess of Asgard#talking about how he’ll need to complete nine Trials to prove himself worthy to have her as his queen
but this just keeps getting better and better
EACH TIME I SEE THIS THERE ARE MORE WONDERFUL COMMENTS
OMFG DIS POST. DEM COMMENTS /dying
It gets better every fucking time!
I am CRYING oh my god
[[And there will be that one guy.
He won’t run or never call again.
He’ll sit there and play along.
“I, (insert name), swear on my very life that thine daughter, thine princess of Asgard shall return safely to you. My very life be forfeit at your hands if it be otherwise.”
It’ll be RDJ’s kid. His dad will have warned him about this long beforehand and quizzed him on it.]]
I didn’t even think it was possible for this post to get any better. Thanks for proving me wrong.
*oh I can’t breathe*
New pickup line right there.
I had to….That smile at the end man…
So I remembered this and had to post it somewhere, from Facebook.
Me: Ah my goodness E3 is coming out with the most amazing stuff this morning. Kingdom Hearts, FFXIII-3, PS4….KINGDOM HEARTS! OIHEFhfiuwbfe I can’t contain myself! Send help!
Mom: Don’t worry the nerdamedics are on the way!
Seriously, my mother is the best person EVER. I love she accepts my nerdiness.
I FUCKING LAUGH AT THIS EVERY DAMNED TIME HELP
Favourite Males 1/? - Matthew Gray Gubler